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Best insults

Looking for the best insults? Then you have come to the right place! On this site you will find all the greatest, best, most funny insults. If you are going to offend someone then you should always bring the heavy weaponry and do it with an insults that are both creative and funny.

Of course these insults are only meant to be used for fun, and if you want to bring a smile on someones face then you can use one of these funny insults that you will find on this page.

The insults are placed into different categories. So among other you can find insults in these categories:

Looking for the best insults?

A wise man once spoke about how the desire to put others down was “as old as chickens.” If there’s anything we desire more than wealth, fame and a lifelong supply of chicken wings, it’s being able to completely roast our deserving friends and mortal enemies till their soul is crushed and their eyes are sore from crying. But this ability is one of the rarest super powers of all time, and yes, that includes telepathy because you’re more likely to disappear into the toilet than find the perfect comeback or insult meant for people whose stupidity make you question the entire purpose of human existence. Well, it’s time to go get your gratitude in order, and sing praises to your lucky stars because you’re about to read the most devastating, mind shattering, soul wreaking, heart stopping, tar turning, insults that would leave anyone on the receiving end in spiral of lethal despair and incurable self-loathing. Here are some of the best insults ever, jot a lot and laugh a lot:

  • Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick.
  • No, I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
  • Listen, It is always better to let someone think you’re an idiot rather than to open your mouth and actually prove it.
  • Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory
  • You’re proof that even god makes mistakes sometimes
  • I’m jealous of people that don’t know you!
  • You’re so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering.
  • Brains aren’t everything. In your case they’re nothing.
  • I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it sure is effective.
  • Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.
  • You, sir, are an oxygen thief!
  • Some babies were dropped on their heads but you were clearly thrown at a wall.
  • I’d slap you, but that would be against my principles as an animal activist.
  • They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured.
  • The last time I saw something like you, I flushed it.
  • It’s obvious you have diarrhea of the mouth; constipation of the ideas
  • You’re kinda like Rapunzel except instead of letting down your hair, you let down everyone in your life.
  • You’re not the dumbest person on the planet, but you sure better hope he doesn’t die.
  • If you were an inanimate object, you’d be a participation trophy.
  • I’m sorry your dad beat you instead of cancer.
  • You’re so stupid you couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the directions were written on the heel.
  • You are a pizza burn on the roof of the world’s mouth.
  • You’re so dense, light bends around you.
  • Your mother may have told you that you could be anything you wanted, but a douchebag wasn’t what she meant.
  • You’re as useless as the “ueue” in “queue”
  • You’re the reason the gene pool needs a life guard
  • If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant.
  • The only difference between you and Hitler is Hitler knew when to kill himself.
  • You’ve got to be two people, because no single person can be this stupid.

With great insults and jokes comes great power

best insultsNow before you go about using these lines or jokes on people, we advise you inform their families of their impending demise, because these lines hold great power, the power to start wars, end generations and even cause instant baldness, lose tear glands and unnecessary palpitations.

To laugh at more funny stuff like this then go to funny-jokes-land.com.

As we arm you with this weapon of mass destruction, we only ask that you use them wisely and most especially “effectively” to slaughter all enemies that dare disturb your peace with their existence. Remember to practice your delivery, your pauses and long stares, you might also want to work on your lip movement so that as the words roll out, they come out so effortlessly. You may also want to use insults that clearly fit the situation you’re in, you don’t want to make funny of a person’s weight when they’re clearly fit, specificity matters a lot when it comes to rendering jabs and you’ve been notified! So, equip yourself and shine forth for you have been blessed with the opportunity to benefit from this dubiously distinctive approach to mocking people so well.


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